Taxi Ride

This episode is so amusing that I just have to write about it.

Company dinner last Friday at the Spore Orchid Country Club.
I was "chosen" to mann the registration counter,
Hence was let off early from work to do a "makeover".
Wahaha!! Of course, I am no knock-out.
So stop asking.

Flag down a taxi at the foot of my flat.
I got in and the following conversation ensue:
(in mandarian, translated here for ease of typing)

Taxi Driver: "Hello, go where?"
Me: "Thank you, Uncle. Orchid Country Club."

Taxi: "Yishun one eh?"
Me: "Yes, please."
(How many Orchid Country Clubs are there in Spore??)

A few minutes later.
Taxi: "You not local?"
Me: "No, I was born here, singaporean."

Taxi: "Go to OCC to play golf, eh?"
(Mind you, I was wearing a knee-length skirt and 3/4 sleeve blouse. Look nothing like golf gear.)
Me: "No, tonite got company dinner."

Taxi: "Wah! You got high blood pressure izzit? Your face very red when you talk lei."
Me: ??? "Eh?"

Taxi: "You got see doctor or not?"
Me: "No, but my check-ups are ok."

The taxi driver proceeded to ask about my schools, from primary to tertiary.
Taxi: "Your smile very sweet lei. Got children already?"
Me: "No."

Taxi: "No children? Are you married?"
Me: "No, nobody wants to marry me."

Taxi: "Your husband dun want to marry you izzit?"
Me: "....." (If I am not married, how can that guy be my husband??? Tsk! Tsk!)
** Was thinking to myself, h*ll, it's none of your business...

Taxi: "So your boyfriend is not coming with you tonite?"
Me: "Oh, he is very busy. Besides we are in different companies."
** Okay, I lied. So what?

Reached OCC at last. End of conversation. Phew!

U-turns...

I love Monday mornings...
No, I am not a workaholic.
Just happens that I scheduled a driving lesson every monday...
So hooked to the lessons, that I even DREAM I am driving...
Huh~~~ Bonkers!!!

Today's lesson is on U-turns...
Tried out every U-turn along the test routes.
Wide ones, narrow ones, slope ones, ....!!
Got the ex-colleague instructor.
We are good friends liao, but when it comes to the lesson :-(
"Hold on to your clutch!"
"Step on the oil!"
"Change gear! Your gear dragging already!"
Geez!! Am I really THAT bad?
I realised later that some other students are also behaving the same way.
Am not trying to console myself,
Jus tot that I am an average student.
*Wink!

Christmas is coming~~~
Actually I really need to do a few things:
1. Get a new haircut, before the Chinese New Year.
2. Buy new underwear. Mmm...
3. Buy a new dress for a colleague's wedding.
4. Get a new PC.
I am still running on P2, 350Mhz, from 4 years ago.
That's about it.
Think some more and the list will grow longer...
D*mn! Where am I going to get all that cash?!
Maybe I should just send Santa my wish list.
I have been really good this year, think he will oblige?

I'm DREAMING of a white christmas~~~
Yeah, Just carrying on dreaming.

Check your blind spots!

Friday morning.
Driving lesson time...
Today's instructor is the "check blind spot" guy.
Got him for the directional change lesson.
D*mn, I still can't control my clutch properly...
Before going out on the road today,
I request to try the directional change again.
And I am still going too fast for his liking...
Haiz~~~ Practice makes perfect, so more lessons, more $$$.

Today's lesson: Right turns Learn all about right turn arrows,
Green lights and blinking arrows,
Right turn pockets, no pockets...
My neck is all stiff with all that "Check your blind spots!"
"Dun check, cost you 4 points!"
"The tester is going to sit quietly beside you, but his pen do all the talking!"
I was doing ok, till I reached the junction of AMK AVE 9 and Street 62.
Was supposed to turn right, so I made my way, crawling into the pocket nicely...
Saw a bus approaching in the opposite direction,
*Panic! Engine stalled...
Luckily I started the engine in time and moved off quickly.
There are no cars behind me too, guess everybody got impatient with L-plates!

Next lesson will be an interesting one...
U-turns! Hahahaha!!
Just hope I can avoid my 2 main weaknesses:
Mounting kerbs and engine stalling.

Christmas mood liao!!?!
~~~ Jingle bells, jingle bells... Jingle all the way ~~~
Wanna go shopping right now!

Final Theory Test

Went for my Final theory test yesterday.
Suppose to use touch screen input since 1st nov,
So we know the results on the spot.
Alas, the system is not ready.
They even produce a letter of apology from the head of traffic police!
So we revert back to using pen and paper method.
And I get to know the results only in 2 weeks time...... Haiz!!
Anxiety all over again.

Went for driving lesson yesterday morning also.
I am now at subject 21 / 33: Directional change (3-point turn, I think.)
Kana scolding like hell from the instructor......
What??!? I use the reverse gear like only 3 times, throughout my 21 lessons....
And the instructor expects me to know how much to turn, where to look and when to straighten the wheel???
But I was concentrating too hard to really care about his nagging...
Think I make him very pissed because at one point, he asked me, "You know what you are doing or not??"
I managed eventually... looking forward to this friday,
My subject would be on right turns at major junctions....
Hee!
If you see me in a white Honda Civic with the SSDC logo, give way and dun horn me, ok?

Introducing my driving instructors...

I can't stop talking about driving
My new pet rave nowadays.
Luckily my friends and colleagues are supportive of me
And so far, they have not ask me to shut up.
Let me introduce some of the instructors I have been getting:
(In order of my liking... Wahahahaha!!)

The Tall Dark and Handsome
He is my first... I mean, He took me for my first lesson, sheesh!!
He is very nice, always encouraging, and keeping calm despite of my funny antics.
He is the one that ask me to "go home then cry, case people will see..."
Humorous kind of guy...
My type, but think he is married...
(Spotted a gold band around his finger. *Pout!* Heehee~~~)

The Ah Beng
He is the typical Ah Beng type.
He loves water sports (thats where he got his tan.)
Looks openly and comments on girls at the bus-stops,
Checks his hair in the rear-view mirror,
Compare his tanned arm with yours,
Talk about the different makes of cars on the roads.
Mmmm...
If he is a bit older, he will make an interesting boyfriend.
(By the way, he told me he is "looking around".)

The Ex-colleague
We work in the same company two years ago, but in a different department.
I didn't know his before this.
When he asked me where I worked, I was surprised he know quite a bit about the company.
He was like a tight-mouth durian...
Seldom talk unless spoken to, or when I made a mistake,
And he will start nagging!!
But I think we had become friends, since that day when I was late.
He was at his most talkative that day...
We talked about five-days week, retrenchments, salaries, his previous jobs...
Driving with him is not so dull after all!

The "Check blind spot" Guy
I only met him twice for my lessons.
Average, so-so, can do, not naggy, but gives very clear instructions.
No-nonsense kind of guy.
Once he has to show me how to check the engine oil,
So he took out a piece of paper and clean the "blade",
And checked the oil.
After that, he told me to "Check blind spot" and promptly dispose of the paper at the roadside!
And so his nick~~~
Do you know he was an ex-fireman??

The Fat Guy
Oh I hate him!!! We just dun click!
He bark orders like I am a d**m recuit!
But the last lesson I had with him was ok, since I did not commit any SERIOUS offences.
(No barking from him!)

How I know so much about them?
Blame it on my charms!
Everybody loves to talk to me...
Wahahahaha!!

~~~~~~~~~~
Driving is a different experience, when you get to drive with different instructors.
Some enjoyable, some torturing!
And I am "paying like a duke" to get the experience of a lifetime!

Zzz... Zzz... Zzz... Bonk!

Friday morning.
Wasn't feeling too good...
Due to some reason, I was spending too much time in the toilet.
Late for my driving lesson... Bonk!
Guess what, it was the same instructor as Monday's.
Yeah, the ex-colleauge.
Tot I only get to see him every 2 weeks...
Man, was he talkative today,
Maybe I looked really funny, being late and everything, trying to get into the car in the middle of the road! (In the circuit, of course!)
Normally he will only answer questions I ask,
Pertaining to driving or otherwise...
He was extra chatty this morning.
We have become friends... *Wink!

But I did not do well during the lesson.
Subject: Lane Changing. Reasons,
One, too distracted by the instructor.
Two, stomachache.
Three, i am having a terrible headache.
Didn't really sleep well the night before.
Probably too stressed out at work.

The customers are coming next week, and I haven't got the presentation ready.
STRESSED!!
Feel like breaking things right now....

"If your life feels like it is lacking the success that you want,
Sometimes all you have to do is change your point of view."

A good one

Somebody sent me the following joke...

A man meets a genie.

The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

Hills and race queens

I managed to conquer Mt Faber and Bukit Timah
All in under 30 mins...
How? Easy...
Just step on the gas
Release the clutch till the bonnet rise up,
Signal, check blind spot, and release the handbrake!
Sheesh! What do you think I was talking about??!!?
Wahahahaha!!!

Yeah, driving lessons on monday morning.
It was a public holiday...
The streets are almost deserted, so I had a easy time cutting in and out of lanes....
No problem!
Where got problem one?
"I can do!!" is my attitude nowadays.

What do cars and women have in common?
Mmm... Sexy curves, soft silky leather and a lot of purrs!
Plus a little bit of temper, sometimes...
I visited the motorshow 2004...
Lots of fast cars; and attractive race queens!
There is a particular hyge crowd at the Alfa Romeo booth
Where perched on a attractive alfa red convertible, is an equally attractive "italian" model, in a super low cut dress, show off her ample bosom...
Guess what?
The floor is wet and slippery too,
With all the drool from men! Wahahahaha!!
I have to say, I really admire the shape of cars to come, and also the courage of the models and race queens...

As what Janice Wong said, "I think I will stick to writing!"

Babes, blind spots and kerbs

Monday morning again.
Yup, driving lessons. Feeling fresh from the weekend...
No problem, sure can handle the car one!!

Got the handsome Ah Beng instructor today.
Not bad, lifted my spirits immediately.
Heehee!! So far, so good...
We chatted all the way. I even know his christian name!
Hee~~~ He would point out to pretties along the road and bus-stops. "That's why we always ask you all to keep left! Can see pretty girls mah!"
"Wow! Long hair, very pretty! Keep left! Slow down a bit!"

I am better at handling the car already,
Although it was basically blind spots, left turns and filter lanes.
"Think I can go to sleep already... Means you are driving so smoothly." Ah Beng told me.
Good... Finally~~~
Then, sixty minutes later...
At a filter lane off Thomson road, I mounted the kerb!!
A lapse of concentration...
Or I am too complacent~~~
Whatever the case.... So MALU!!
I haven't mount kerbs in "years"!!
Gosh! I want to dig a hole and hide!
Then it was downhill all the way.
Suddenly my confidence went somewhere... I dunno where~~~
Engine started stalling, braking very hard...
Everything went out of control~~~!
Bet you, I really wake up the "Ah Beng"!
I pay him to sit beside me, to watch me drive, and he said he want to go to sleep!!!

Humf! Hahahahaha!!!

Of teeth and vagabonds

Friday again.
Normally I will have my driving lesson in the morning.
But I went to the dentist today.
No, there is nothing wrong with my teeth...
They are just going for a "once-a-year" cleansing process...
I had made the appointment a year ago, almost forgotten about it.
Anyhow, I was in the chair for less than 15 mins,
When the very handsome dentist declared that I was done already!
Geezz... That was really fast...
I felt so cheated.
Luckily I do not need fillings...
Or any of my pearlies pulled out.
And the dentist is really really handsome (and young), especially when he took off his mask!!
Mmm...

As I was waiting to make payment...
(Yup, the waiting process is much longer than the procedure on my 32 teeth!)
Saw a huaghty man, whose appointment is in the late morning.
The nurse pointed out that he has to wait till his appointed time, unless someone before him is unable to make it, then he can see the dentist earlier.
He then request that the nurse call him once the timeslot is available, to which the nurse replied that it was not the polyclinic policy to do so, and that she is quite busy and might forget.
To this, the man flared up and said that this ain't the good service the polyclinic should provide, and also threatened to make a complaint.
He also added that the nurse will only take a minute to make the phone call.
Gosh! I mean, why get so work up over such minute things??

First, dun make appointments you can't keep.
Second, if the nurse can take a minute to make the phone call, so can you.
It will also take you a minute to make the call, to see whether a timeslot is available for you or not.
Third, dun think that you are sooo English-educated that you can anyhow complain!! Humf!!